Adulterer

I'm seeing someone else. While a normal person might feel guilty or some sort, the thrill of living a secret double life can be quite addictive. I couldn't resist my new beau, not when her last name's slim.

She plays as well as my first wife, just that her expertise lies in a different area, if you know what I mean. Of course, you don't. I'm starting to think I'm spending too much time with my new mistress, but hey, anything to get these finger muscles going, if you know what I mean, again. Of course, you don't, again.

People say that two's a party, three's a crowd. My mother, however, feels that a matchmaking session is due for her only son. She's hooking me up with this chick in town; I think she comes from China. I'll know soon enough, otherwise I can always give DHL a call to see when she's arriving. Apparently, she has a beast of a cat in her. Rawr.

call you back.